I have managed to keep my viewing habits to a minimum but this evening, did spot a programme advertised on Channel 5 which caught my eye - Britain's Sexual Fantasies. I was interested to see how the programme would treat this subject especially since it would be presented by a psychotherapist who has apparently researched this area for the past 3 years.

Well it's just finished. It wasn't as mind blowing as I thought it might be. Yes, it is normal to fantasise and everyone has them, to varying degrees. So bearing that in mind, it is interesting that the majority of us find it difficult to talk openly about them. We may be open about some of the "tame" ones but we are afraid of being totally open - afraid of being judged. It's hard enough to be totally honest with your sexual partner, but it is definately not something you talk about with your mates! I know there are various bloggers who have been fairly open about their sexual activities and fantasies, but I do wonder whether even they have been totally honest & open? I've only relatively recently "allowed" myself to fantasise. By this I mean that I don't feel any form of guilt about it. It was liberating to share some of them with the person I was sexually active with at the time. But even though I felt totally comfortable with that person and felt I could tell him anything without being judged, there were things I kept to myself. I'm sure the same could be said for him.

The documentary looked at why we have fantasies (not to any great depth though)and it would seem that basically they have their roots in our childhood experiences. For a lot, it's a way of dealing with a childhood trauma - turning pain into pleasure. This aspect I can, in some ways understand. Thinking about it, I can see the link between some of my childhood traumas and my fantasies.

It would seem only a minority get to act out their fantasies. But then for many acting out their fantasies would actually land them in jail, so understandably it is not something everyone wants to do! Mine are all legal (I think!) but admit I definately wouldn't want to act them all out. Some work better in imagination and I'm not sure would be so arousing in real life!

On that note, I'm off to bed along with my fantasies!!