The working week is over and I have survived!! Sounds a bit dramatic, but, hey, that's how I feel.
On top of the yucky start to the week, it's been pretty horrid at work. Spent the remainder of the week with a Manager busy planning on wrecking a few people's lives just before Christmas (redundancies) AND my boss informed me that the person who works for me needs to be sacked!! Great! Only "good thing" about the latter is it needs to be done on Monday and guess what, I'm on leave. Yes, at times I am a coward and being in HR I admit that it is far easier to "advise" others than "do". Another reason why I dislike my job.
By nature I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and don't know if it's part of suffering from depression, but I immediately tend to blame myself. On the one hand I feel I have done all I can to help her, but on the other, I keep wondering if I could have done more. I know no-one actually enjoys dismissing people, but I do find the whole process rather draining. As I said, I'm not even doing the dirty deed myself but when talking about it today, my boss looked at me and said "you looked distressed". Must learn to hide my feelings more at work!
But, I am officially now on holiday for a week and have to stop my brain from thinking too much and going round in circles. I really don't want to start slipping down the hole of depression. I've been good this year and not had any episodes and determined not to have another! I need to be mentally strong as when I do go back to work, the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan. Let's see if will power can overcome chemical imbalance!
2007-10-26 @ 21:34