For those who read my last blog will know that I had a job interview yesterday. Well, it was horrible. Brain and mouth didn't seem to engage and I cocked up on some basic questions. I walked out knowing I didn't get the job and there was a part of me that also realised that if I did, I don't think I would have enjoyed working for the company.
So, why is it then that having received the inevitable phone call, I can't seem to stop crying? I'm not sure the tears are because I didn't get the job, but more that by not getting the job, I feel "stuck" where I am. I am not able to move down to Cornwall, where I want to be. Whenever I go down, coming back is sooooo hard. Not just because of friends left behind but having made a decision that I want to move, each day living where I do and working in London becomes harder and harder.
I know there is great danger of going for and accepting any job just to get me away from here, regardless of whether it is "right". The sensible part of my brain keeps saying that the job I went for wasn't right hence me not feeling comfortable at the interview; that I should be patient and the right job in Cornwall will come along; and that I should trust I will get my wish of moving down there.
Well, the tears have stopped and I think it is time for an early night. Night blogland.....
2007-10-23 @ 23:22